The osteopath looked at me with disgust as he opened the door. Had it really been three months since my last visit? It’s his own fault. He shouldn’t be so good at his job.
As I stripped down to my underwear, I caught sight of myself in his full length mirror. I remember feeling acutely embarrassed last time around, ashamed of my belly and general air of unfitness. This time however, I stood there like a god. I’ve dropped nearly 20lbs since then. Workouts galore, more miles than I thought possible. And it all began right here in that room, in front of that mirror, in fact.
It only got weird when he walked back in, and for some reason I insisted on taking my socks off too. Is there an etiquette for having your bones pummeled back into line? I really do think whether I exposed my bruised toenails was the least of my worries right then. I explained the stair fall, and the subsequent attempt at a half marathon that ended in me paralysed for the rest of the weekend.
I followed his instructions. I leaned to the right. Impressively far to the right, I thought. I leaned to the left. Hmmm. That hurt. Was not expecting that. In fact, I had barely leaned at all. Backwards was the same. Forwards thought, No problem. Still couldn’t touch my toes, but then, I never could.
The Osteopath explained clearly without even laying a finger on me what I had done, and how he would put it right.
When I fell, I sprained something. I’m not sure what. It got technical. I also whacked the vertebrae out of alignment again.
So a hefty massage was coming. This wasn’t gentle. It was brutal. This is the kind of thing Jack Bauer used to extract information when he didn’t have a hacksaw handy.
And then.The moment arrived.
I knew it was coming. He moved my legs into position, one straight, the other bent at the knee. One arm went under my head like I was sleeping. The other bent straight back behind me. And then.
Pushing down on my hip, while pulling back on my arm, and possibly a knee in the small of my back.
Wow. A triple pop. That was awesome. Painful, but awesome.
“OK. Roll over, we’ll do the other side now”.
And it began again.
So… hopefully by Monday, I’ll be running again.